1, Wear Jandels not Thongs. Thongs are
worn by very tidy ladies at the
beach and are about the same size as the bit of string that holds your
batterns in. Any Australian, with dangly bits, trying to emulate this
WILL recieve 'the bash'.
2, Have 'Chilly Bins' not Eskys. Eskys live in igloos on the other side
of the world.
3, Spell beer 'BEER' not XXXX.
4, Don't drink 'lite' in the yacht club after sailing or at all really.
If you would like a 'lite' we call it lemonade.
5, Don't have or even talk about Doonas. If you mention this word in a
pub you may get the bash and hear the word poofter. If you get cold at
nite just pull over another sheep, they are everywhere.
6, If you want a 1/2 dozen beer at the bottlo ask for 1/2 a dozen. An
Ozzie asking for '6' may result in sitting problems, a visit to the
Accident and Emergency department or an enjoyable experiance (depending
on which way you lean).
7, Actually know where 'Kiri te Kanawa', 'Pharlap', 'Crowded House',
'David Tua'(it is spelt Samoa, not Sydney), etc, etc, etc come from.
8, Don't have people called 'Bluey'.
9, Do eat Kangaroo - Hhmmm! yummie!.
10, Would eat Kiwis but the maoris beat us to them. Seen the size of
those eggs? 1 per 5 kilos of bacon.
11, Do actually think of Tasmainians as Australians.
12, Don't play footy games, in shorts 6 times to samll, that resemble
someone dropping a $100 note in a crowded bus.
13, Know Todd Blackadder would kick John Eales asre anyday!!